(1) Estavam duas vacas a pastar num prado, de repende vira-se uma e diz:
    - Muuuummmmmm !
    E diz a outra:
    - Tirás-te-me as palavras da boca.

(2) Estavam duas vacas a pastar num prado, de repente vira-se uma e diz:
    - Ja ouviste falar da doença das vacas loucas ?
    - Já !
    - E não tens medo ?!
    - Não, não vês que sou um sapo !...

(3) Sabem o que é que um TomTom diz para uma vaca que está de cima de
    um telhado ?
    - Sai daí vaca !
    O que a vaca responde...
    - Muuuuuummmmm !

        
         (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
         (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  /-------\/       /-------\/       /-------\/       /-------\/
 / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||
*  ||----||      *  ||W---||      *  ||w---||      *  ||V---||
   ^^    ^^         ^^    ^^         ^^    ^^         ^^    ^^
     Cow           Cow laden        Same cow       Nancy Reagan-type
                   with milk     after milking     cow with milk

         (___)             (___)    *        (___)             (___)
         (o o)             (o o)     \       (o o)             (o o)
  /-------\ /       /-------\ /       \-------\ /       /-------\ /
 / |     ||O       / |     ||O         |     ||O       / | ^#>-+|O
*  ||,---||       *  ||@\--||          ||,---||       *  ||,----|
   ^^    ^^          ^^    ^^          ^^    ^^          ^^     ^
     Bull       Same bull after    Rotc bull after    Red-blooded American Bull
                seeing above cow   seeing other bull   shooting the Rotc bull



         (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
         (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  /-------\/-*     /-------\/       /-------\/   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 / |     || \     )*)(\/* /  *     / |     ||
*  ||----||  *   \ |||/)|/()(    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/   \)|(/\/|)(/\
  Cow munching   Grass munching   Cow in water       Cow in trouble
    on grass         on cow

          (__)             (__)    *        (__) *      (__)
          (oo)             (oo)     \       (oo) |      (oo)
  /--------\/      /-oooooo-\/       \-------\/  \-------\/
 * o|     ||      * ooooooooo     o  o|     ||   /     ||
    ||----||     ooooooooooooo        ||----||>==/-----||
 ooo^^    ^^    ooooooooooooooooo     ^^    ^^         ^^
  Cow taking      Cow in deep         Cow getting the shit
    a shit            shit             kicked out of her


         (__)
         (oo)                       U
  /-------\/                    /---V
 / |     ||                    * |--|                       .
*  ||----||
   ^^    ^^

Cow at 1 meter.         Cow at 100 meters.        Cow at 10,000 meters.



         (__)                     )__(                vv    vv
         (oo)                     (oo)                ||----||  *
  /-------\/               *-------\/                 ||     | /
 / |     ||               / |     ||                 /\-------/
*  ||----||              /  ||----||                (oo)
   ^^    ^^                 vv    vv                (^^)

American Cow              Polish Cow            Australian Cow



         (__)                     (__)                     (__)
         (oo)                ____ (oo)                _---_(oo)
  /-------\/               /-    --\/               /-     -\/
 / |     ||               / |     ||               /|      ||
*  ||----||              *  ||___-||              *  ||___-||
   ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^

Freshman Cow at          Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow
start of school     After the "Freshman 15"    After the "Freshman 20"


         (__)                     (__)                     (__)
         (OO)                     (@@)                     (xx)
  /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
 / |     ||               / |     ||               / |     ||
*  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
   ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^

Cow who drank Jolt       Cow who ate              Cow who used Jolt to wash
                      psychadelic mushrooms      down psychadelic mushrooms


                                         /\                  __
                                        /  \                 ||
             (__)                 (__)  \  /               (_||_)
             SooS                 (oo)   \/                 (oo)
      /------S\/S          /-------\/    /S          /-------\/
     / |     ||           / |     ||    /  S        / |     ||
    *  ||----||          *  ||----||___/    S      *  ||----||
       ^^    ^^             ^^    ^^                  ^^    ^^
    This cow belonged     Ben Franklin owned       Abe Lincoln's
  to George Washington       this cow                   cow


                                                 (__)
         *        (__)                           (oo)
          \       (oo)                     /------\/
           \-------\/                     /|  |/  |
            | ==$ ||                     / |  [) ||
            ||----||                    *  ||----||
            ^^    ^^                       ^^    ^^
     Old "One Arm" belonged           This cow was given to
       to Ceasar's Palace           Hugh Hefner for his Birthday


                  (___)               (__)      (__)
                  ( O )               (oo)      (oo)
           /-------\ /                 \/--------\/
          / |     ||V                   |        |
         *  ||----||                    ||------||
            ^^    ^^                    ^^      ^^
  The cyclops that Jason and         This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow          Dr. Doolittle


             (__)                   (__)
             [##]                   (@o)
      /-------\/             /-------\/              /-------  (__)
     / |     ||             / |     ||              / |     || (oo)
    *  ||----||            *  ||----||             *  ||----|---\/
       ^^    ^^               ^^    ^^                ^^    ^
 This cow belonged      This cow lived with      This cow belonged to
  to Flash Gordon       the Little Rascals       the Headless Horseman


                    (____)             (____)                           (____)
                    (oo  )                (o  o)                        ( O O)
         /-----------\  /          /-----\    /----          /-----------\  /
        / ||       |  \/          / |   |  \/   |           / ||       |  \/
       /  ||       ||||           \ |  |      | | |        /  ||       ||||
      *   ||||-----||||            *| | |-----| | |       *   ||||-----||||
          /\/\     /\/\             /\ /\     /\ /\           ^^^^     ^^^^
     This cow belonged         This was Salvatore      No one was sure whether
      to Pablo Picasso        Dali's favorite cow    M.C. Escher's cow had four
                                                           legs or eight


               O__O                             \_|_/
               (oo)                             (oo)
        /-------\/                       /-------\/
       / |     ||                       / |     ||
      *  ||----||                      *  ||----|||
         ^^    ^^                         ^^    ^^
    Cow at Disneyland         Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty



                        (__)                        (__)
                ^^      (oo)                        (--)
            ^^^^ /-------\/                        /-\/-\
         ^^^^^  / |     ||                        /|    |\
       ^^^^^   *  ||----||                       ^ |    | ^
    ^^^^^^^^  ====^^====^^====                     |    |
^^^^^^^^^^/                                     /----\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^                                /    \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^               ^      * ^
     Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu           Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
                                             (What a bod, huh guys?)


               )\               (__)
              /  \              (oo)
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
           Cow swimming at Amityville
(Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)


        *                                                 (__)
         \                                                (DD)
          \                                        /-------\/
          |\                                      / |     ||_\_/
        \ | \ (__)                               *  ||----|
        \\|| \(oo)                                  ^^    ^
         \||\ \\/                         Cow chugging brews and staring at
          ^^ \||                            sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
           \\ ||
            \\||
             \||
              ^^                                 / / / / / / / / / / /
               \\_                              / / / / / / / / / / / /
                \_                              / / / / / _______   / /
 Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen            / / /    /   |   \  / /
                                                / / /    (__)|      / /
                                                / / /    (oo)|      / /
   ( @@@ )                                        /-------\/ |
    ( @@ )            (------------)             / |     ||^_|
       @@  (__)       (  *>COUGH<* )            *  ||----|
        @@ (oo) . . . (  *>COUGH<* )               ^^    ^
     /--UU--\/        (____________)
    / |    ||                              Cow sheltering from English Weather
   *  ||---||

   (New) Jersey Cow


                       O O                 O O
                        \ \               / /
                         \ \          (__) /
          (__)            \ \         (xx)/
          (DD)             \ +--------+\//
   /-------\/               \|        | /
  / |     ||                 +--------+
 *  ||----||
    ^^    ^^
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
            at Gillies in Texas


         o  o
         |__|             (__)             (__)
         (oo)             (oo)            =(oo)=         oo
  /-------\/       /-------vv       /-------\/
 / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||
*  ||----||      *  ||----||      *  ||----||
   ^^    ^^         ^^    ^^         ^^    ^^
 bill bixby        bela lugosi      boris karloff  claude rains
 male relative     cow              cow            cow
 cow
                       x
                   xxxx|xxxx
                xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx
                       |
                      //
                (__) //                        (__)   (__)
                (oo)//                         (oo)===(oo)
         /-------\//                    /-------\/     \/-------\
        / |     |//                    / |     ||       ||     | \
       *  ||----|                     *  ||----||       ||----||  *
          ^^    ^^                       ^^    ^^       ^^    ^^
     Julie Andrews Cow                         Siamese cows


                            o        o             (__)    ^
                             \      /              (oo)   /
                              \    /           _____\/___/
             (__)              \__/           /  /\ / /
             (oo)       _______(oo)          ^  /  * /
    /---------\/       /|  ___  \/             / ___/
   / | x=a(b)||       / | {   }||         *----/\
  *  ||------||      *  ||{___}||             /  \
     ^^      ^^         ||-----||            /   /
                        ^^     ^^           ^    ^

    Mathematical        Television      This cow does Disco
        Cow                 Cow        (That's what comes of
   (developer of        (Cow-thode      snorting cow-caine)
     cow-culus)          Ray Tube)

            o
            | [---]
            |   |
            |   |                              |------========|
       /----|---|\                             | **** |=======|
      /___/___\___\                         o  | **** |=======|
      |            |                     ___|  |==============|
      |           |                ___  {(__)} |==============|
      \-----------/             [](   )={(oo)} |==============|
       \  \   /  /             /---===--{ \/ } |
    -----------------         / | NASA  |====  |
    |               |        *  ||------||-----^
    -----------------           ||      |      |
      /    /  \   \             ^^      ^      |
     /     ----    \
      ^^         ^^           This cow jumped over the Moon


                (__)
               ([][])            "I have this recurring dream
               __\/_--U              about golden arches."..  (__)
              /\    \__                                 ^  :..("")
             /\\\  /  /                         //\  ____\_____\/ //
            /----^/__/\ /\                     // \\/     \___ / //
                \\\____/--\--                 // /-/__________/ //
                 /======   \/            =======/==============//
              *_/ /    \   /^              //  /              \\
                 /      \ ^               //                   \\

                     Psycowlogist and patient


                                               (___)
          \^^^^^^^^\   (__)                    (o o)
           \^^^^^^^^\\ (oo)                     \ /
        *-----\_______\/\/                    \--O--/
      ^_______/   ---  \______^              // -----\
     ^--------\   \S/  /\_____^              \\/_^{} /==V===[]
               \______/                        \_____\\//
                                                \__/
   It's a bird...                               //\\         The Boss
    It's a plane...                             //  \\   (Bruce Holstien)
                                                //   //
                                                ^^    ^^


                                          ==================
 _____________________________            H                H
 |             |-------------|            H     (__)       H
 |             |   ________  |            H     (oo)       H       __
 |   COWNTY    |  | (|__|) | |            H    / \/ \      H     /    \
 |    JAIL     |  |  |oo|  | |            H   | |  | |     H    | STOP |
 |             |  |__|\/|__| |            H   D===b=-----  H     \ __ /
 |             | o           |            H^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H       ||
 |             | ^           |            H                H       ||
 |             | ]           |            H                H       ||
 |             |             |            H                H       ||
 |_____________|_____________|            H                H       |||
                                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     ^^^^^^^
 Some cows get in trouble...                 Cattle Guard


     (  (    )
   ( (     )   )
   ( (         )
  (           / )
 ( ( \\       )
     ( |  // )
       |   |    (__)
       |   |    (oo)                   (__)
       |   | ----\/              ______(oo)_____
       |   |    ||              ( _)_______(__) )
     **|   | ---||                \ __________/
    ``'---------^^
        Cow Hide                     Cow Pie


                   \  |  /         ___________
    ____________  \ \_# /         |  ___      |       _________
   |            |  \  #/          | |   |     |      | = = = = |
   | |   |   |  |   \\#           | |`v'|     |      |         |
   |            |    \#  //       |  --- ___  |      | |  || | |
   | |   |   |  |     #_//        |     |   | |      |         |
   |            |  \\ #_/_______  |     |   | |      | |  || | |
   | |   |   |  |   \\# /_____/ \ |      ---  |      |         |
   |            |    \# |+ ++|  | |  |^^^^^^| |      | |  || | |
   |            |    \# |+ ++|  | |  |^^^^^^| |      | |  || | |
   |    ( ||| ) |     # ^^^^^^    |  | |||| | |      | ||||||| |
   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^________/  /_____ |  | |||| | |      | ||||||| |
        `v'-                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^      | ||||||| |
         || |`.      (__)    (__)                          ( )
                     (oo)    (oo)                       /---V
              /-------\/      \/ --------\             * |  |
             / |     ||        ||_______| \
            *  ||W---||        ||      ||  *
               ^^    ^^        ^^      ^^

                        "Cow Town"


              \ (__)                       (__)
              \\(oo)                       (\/)
         /-----\\\/                 /-------\/
        / |    (##)                / |     ||
       *  ||----||"               *  ||----||
          ^^    ^^                   ^^    ^^
    This cow plays bagpipes.      Cow from Beijing


         (__)                     (__)                     (__)
         (\/)                     ($$)                     (**)
  /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
 / | 666 ||               / |=====||               / |     ||
*  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
   ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^                 ^^    ^^

Satanic cow           This cow is a Yuppie         Cow in love


         (__)                                              (__)
         (oo)                                              (oo)
  /-'''''-\/                            /-------------------\/
 / |'''''||                            / |                 ||
*  ||''''||                           *  ||----------------||
   ^^    ^^                              ^^                ^^
 Cow in Argyle                                Stretch Cow
                         *
                      **   **
                 * **  * * *  **
                *   /  /   \ *  *
             \  \ /  \        / /                         (__)
          *  /  / \  \  (__)  \ \                /--------(00)
            /           (00)  / /               / |      |(  )
            \    /-------\/   \ \              *  ||---- ||()
            /   / |     ||    / /                 ||     ||
          \ \  *  ||----||    \ \                 ^^     ^^
         /  /     ^^    ^^    / /            Cow Chewing Marbles
                 Cow in Heat


           (___)
           (o o)
     /------\ /   (__)                         (__)
    /    ____O    (oo)                         (oo)
   |   / /----\----\/                   /-------\/
   /\oo===|  /    ||                   / |     ||
  | ||   *||^-----||                  *  OO----OO
  *  ^^   ^^      ^^
    Cowt in the Act                   low rider cow


         (__)                 \__\                 (__)
         (oo)             o   (oo)                 (oo)
  /-------\/           ____\___\/          *+-------\/
 / |     ||           / |     ||           ||______||
*  ||----||          *  ||----||             ||----||
   OO    OO             OO    OO             OO    OO
Detroit cow          Mustang cow            pickup cow


                 (__)              (__)              \_||_^
                 (oo)              (oo)              (*||*)
  /---------------\/           /----\/        /-------\||/
 / |             ||           /    ||        / |     ||
*  ||------------||        *-||----||       *  ||----||
   OO            OO          OO    OO          OO    }{
      li-moo-cow          fastback cow      teenager's cow


         ____
        (____)
                               .xxxx.
         (__)                  '(oo)`
         (oo)            /-----'-\/ `
  /-------\/            / |    |============>
 / |     ||            *  ||----| (^)
*  ||----||               ^^    ^
   ^^    ^^             Moo-ammar Cowdafi
   holy cow            armed and dangerous


         (___)             (___)
         (o o)             (o o)
  /-------\ /       /-------\ /
 / |     ||O       / |  O^ ||O
*  ||,---||       *  ||,---||
   ^^    ^^          ^^    ^^
    A Bull       A-bomb-in-a-bull     No-bull


           (---)
           (   )
          /-----\                          (___)
          |     |                          (o o)
          |  |  |                   (-----) \ /
          |  |  |                  /  / \    O
          |  *  |                 *  | O |
          ^^   ^^                    -----
          Coward                  Phone Bull


                  __________________________
         }__{    / Send YOUR cow pictures to \
         (00)   ( ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU )
  :****** \/ ==='\___________________________/'
 : #     ##
   ##****##
   ""    ""


 |    |                              |    |           *
 |    |            (__)              |    |            \       (__)
 |    |            (oo)              |    |             \      (oo)
 |    |     /-------\/               |    |          -----------\/--
 |    |    / |     ||                |    |          ----|      |---
 |    |   *  ||----||                |    |              --------
 |    \______^^____^^___             |    \_________________
 |     _________________             |     _________________
 |    /                              |    /
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
 |    |                              |    |
/      \                            /      \

Cow perched on a tree.              Cow attempting to fly off tree.


 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    \_________________
 |     _________________
 |    /
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |
 |    |                                (__)
 |    |                      *---------(..)
/      \                        ^^----^^\/

Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt.


  .            /\         .       .        :                (__)
        .     /  \      .          .       :                (xx)
             /    \   .        .    *      :         __------\/
            /      \              *        :        * ||____||
            | (__) |   .    .   **         :         / |    |\
     .     /| (oo) |\           **         :
          / | /\/\ | \   .     . *         :         Hamburger
      .  /  |=|==|=|  \     .      *       :
     . /    | |  | |    \  .               :
      / USA | ^||^ |NASA \     .           :       *        (__)
     |______|  ^^  |______|       .        :        \       (oo)
    .       (__||__)     .   .             :         \-------\/
       .    /_\  /_\  .     .    .         :        8-|     ||
            !!!  !!!                       :          ||----||
                                           :          ^^    ^^
  The cow that jumped over the moon.       :         Flying Cow


                          ...---...
                       ../  / | \  \..
                     ./ /  /  |  \  \ \.
                    /  /   /  |  \   \  \
                   /  /   /   |   \   \  \
                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                   \          |          /
                    \         |         /
                     \        |        /
                      \       |       /
                       \      |      /
                        \     |     /
                         \    |    /
                          \   |   /
                           \  |  /
                            \ | /(__)
                             \|/ (oo)
                          /---++--\/
                         / |  || ||
                        *  ||-++-||
                           ^^    ^^

               Cow surviving attack by Red Baron


              ..---..                             (__)
             /       \                            (oo)
             |  RIP  |                     /-------\/
             |       |                    / |     ||
             |       |                   *  ||----||
             |       |                      ^^    ^^
             |       |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////

            Elvis's Cow...      ...Or is it alive and living in tax exile???


                     (__)
                     (oo)
        /---+      +--\/
       / |  |      | ||
      *  ||-+      +-||
         ^^          ^^                             *

   David Copperfield's Cow               David Copperfield's other Cow



                                    (__)
                                    (oo)
                             /-------\/
                            / |     ||
                           *  ||----||
                              ^^    ^^
                             (__)  (__)
                             (oo)  (oo)
                      /-------\/    \/-------\
                     / |     || -^^- ||     | \
                    *  ||----   -^^-       ||  *
                       ^^                  ^^
                      (__)                (__)
                      (oo)                (oo)
               /-------\/                  \/-------\
              / |     ||                    ||     | \
             *  ||----||                    ||----||  *
                ^^    ^^                    ^^    ^^
                 Barnum's Troupe of performing cows



                    (__)                       _--------_
                    (oo)                      |__________|   BIG
             /-------\/                        XXXXXXXXXX    MAC
            / | 007 ||                         __________
           *  ||----||                        |_        _|
              ^^    ^^                          --------
       Cow licenced to kill      Enemy Cow after having met previous cow


                                                     (__)
                                                     (oo)
                                                    /'^^^-m
            (__)                                   / '' ` )
            (oo)    o     /| /|/|_                |      /|
           / \/    /    /      _ /                |  |  | |
          /  _\===^   ___\_____/___               |_____|_|
      ___|__/ |/\    (___________(_)               //|| ||
     *        ^ ^                                 *  ww ww

            Mrs. O'Leary's Cow                 Cow'nt Dracula


 ____             ____                                |+++++|
|++++|    ___    |++++|                       ____    |+++++|
|++++|   |++ ______________________          |++++|   |+++++|
|++++|   |++/      /( )\           \         |++++|   |+++++|   __
|    |   |+|      |-oo- |           \______  |++++|   |+++++|  |++|
-----(__)--|       \__\/           _(__)_  \ ----------------------------------
 o   ( oo /_______________________| (oo)  \ |         __
 |  _/\_| |  M O O - B U S T E R S|__\/\ /| |        /oo| - Bleaurgh!
 |-|  \\____                         ------  )_    /|  /\
  -|_  \_|-_|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 0     _|  *  \/  *
     \  |  __________________________________/
     |  W|  \ \_/ /----------------- \ \_/ /
     / /\ \  \___/                    \___/
    / /  \ \
    ^^^   ^^^                                      Who you gonna call...?


        (__)                   (__)                    (__)       (----------)
        (00)                   (-o)                    (--) . . . ( *>YAWN<* )
  /------\/              /------\/               /------\/        (----------)
 /|     ||              /|     ||               /|     ||
* ||----||             * ||----||              * ||----||

Cow w/ Glasses    Flirtatious cow (winking)   Cow after pulling an all-nighter


*        (__)              (__)               (__)               (__)
 \       (oo)              (oo)               (oo)               (oo)
  \-------\/        /-------\/         /-------\/         /-------\/
  /|      |\       / /      \         / \      /         / \      \
 //||----||\\     * //------\\       *   \\--//         *   \\----\\
 ^ ^^    ^^ ^       ^        ^            ^  ^               ^     ^
Cow walking         Cow jogging         Same cow        Cow breaking


          (__)
          (oo)                       (__) o       *     (__)
           \/                        (oo)/ "      |     (oo)
       ____| \____            /-------\/(__ o=o=o=|------\/
       ---/   --**           / |       /          |      |
    *____/    |___//        *  ||----||           ||----||
        //--------/            ^^    ^^           ^^    ^^
       //__                      Cow           Cow pooing
       Cow marching            standing


   Side      Front   Side   back                (___)  Where's all the bulls!
   (__)      (__)    (__)   (__)                (O O)/
   ( oo      (oo)    oo )   (  )            ^  _/\ /\_  ^
   /\_|      /\/\    |_/\   /  \            \\/   O   \//

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